The Long Defeat

On our long drive home from Missouri this weekend I was listening to a Relevant Podcast. Sara Groves was talking about a doctor who is working to eradicate TB in Haiti. He is a very respected and sought-after doctor in his field but he will spend days at a time trekking through the jungles and mountains to go check on one patient who hasn't been in to pick up his meds in a while. He was asked if this was worth it, for him, being as important as he is, to spend his time working to save this one person. In repsonse he speaks of the Long Defeat, a idea from Lord of the Rings. He says that of course he wants to win but that he will lose if winning means turning his back on the loser. She connects him to Frodo who sets off on a journey to save his world with little hope of success and the near certainty that he will never return but he MUST go! And then there is Jesus who surely "entered into the long defeat for us..." abandoning all, to walk a long and lonely road for us!

This is sort of how I feel about the adoption ministry that we are praying about starting. I am certain that we will not make a large dent in the 143 million orphans out there in the world. BUT I also know that I can't sit in my house with my possessions any longer wondering what to do. It's a hill I'm willing to die on. In the song she says "it's too heavy to carry, but impossible to leave" Exactly how I feel!

The Long Defeat
I have joined the long defeat
that falling set in motion
all my strength and energy
are raindrops in the ocean

so conditioned for the win
to share in victor's stories
but in the place of ambition's din
I've heard of other glories

I pray for an idea
and a way I cannot see
It's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave

I can't just fight when I think I'll win
that's the end of all belief
and nothing has provoked it more
than a possible defeat

I pray for an idea
and a way I cannot see
It's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave

We walk a while we sit and rest
we lay it on the altar
I won't pretend to know what's next
but what I have I've offered

I pray for a vision
and a way I cannot see
It's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave

I pray for inspiration
and a way I cannot see
It's too heavy to carry
and impossible to leave